I need to staple to my forehead
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Hanging by a Moment
Hanging by a Moment

I have been having a weird time lately, sorry its been so long to reply, I need to staple a piece of paper to my head reminding me to update my blog.....ah well.

I have been having killer mood swings....I'd be acting like i'm on drugs and really hyper one minute, and then about 1/2 hour to an hour later, I'll be suicidal depressed, almost in tears. It's so annoying and confusing....I use to be able to hold a good cry until I went to sleep, and then cried myself to sleep, I did it a lot growing up....but now it feels like, I have no control over my emotions. I find myself snapping at people, and then going around laughing....I HATE IT!!!!

I want to know what is gonig on....but I also don't want to know what is going on, you know? It feels like I'm going crazy, what the hell is wrong with me?

help me

Helloz
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Daddy Day Care
Hurricane Wilma came through here a while ago, and we just got power last night. No school this week and last week, and hopefully no school until my birthday (that’d be awesome!!!!, as long as I didn’t have to go on my birthday....) I might not be doing anything for my birthday tho, since my dad is going for surgery next tuesday. I want to do something, but I guess I can’t. If we were going to, it would have been this coming up weekend. Ah well, its only my 17th Birthday, no big deal, right?

I am finding myself in a really weird mood lately, and I hate it. After I got my electricity, I slowly started pulling out of it though, so maybe it was because I was bored outta my wits, i dunno, lol. I just know I am extremely tired, regardless how much I sleep, and I am always looking for something to do to keep myself busy. Haven’t really been successful, but I need to try.

So yea, thats my life now,
Peace Out

Forever Lyn

Eh.....
Mood:  don't ask
Yea, Im getting so bad flshbacks, so I don't feel the best, tho I might have found the trigger, so thats good. I think I stress my BF out, so maybe I should lay off for a while, let things calm down. I complain A LOT, and its not fair to him, because I know he worries about me, and I don't want him to have to, I really feel bad, even though he doesn't see why I do. Guess its just a habit. I finally kicked my sister today, and now I feel like the biggest fink in the world. I hated it when my dad hurt me growing up, and now I'm hurting Allison. Now I'm scared of my dad, and I don't want Alli to be scared of me....my mind has been running a mile a minute, I don't even know whats wrong with me anymore, I am so stressed out, its not even funny. I need to try to not feel helpless, since that might triggers the flashbacks, and I hate them. Plus my folks would yell at me, and yea, that'd add onto the stress factor....do you ever feel so stressed, that your stomach hurts and you head spins? Well, times that pain by ten, and add in chest pains, and you'd know how I feel right now. I try to get myself to talk about it, but I can't, mainly because so much stuff is going wrong in my head, that I can't even figure out whats wrong.

I need to figure it out though, or I'll be in flashback city....and thats the last thing I want.

Feel like I'm going to throw up, so I better go now....

Sorry for being such a nusince

Much Love
Lyn

Curse Allison!!!!
Mood:  don't ask
Anyone want a seven year brat? OMG, last night my little sister decided to be "funny" and literally threw herself on my back, sat down, and started going up and down and up and down on my back, she cracked it, now I can barely move. I am so pissed off! I couldn't even get out of bed this morning!!! I am going to see the doctor to see whats wrong, if I have to go to therapy, I'll have my sisters head! I don't have time to waste an hour a day for the next few weeks doing stupid "theriputic" moves in a therapy room, that just makes me feel worse. I'd have to miss rehearsal also, something I have NO TIME FOR WHATSOEVER!!! I already feel crippled all the time, Allison, I don't need you making it worse!!!!!!

ranting.....

Confusion is so much fun
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Bring me to Life
Bring me to Life

Yea, I don't even know whats wrong, I just feel weird....my stomach was hurting last night and this morning, and now its fine, so thats good, I guess, its just weird on how it just came and went....ah well. I fainted two days ago and hit my head, so maybe that has something to do with it, but I dunno, not a doctor. I really hope it isn't what I think it is.....I doubt it tho, its to soon, no way could it be that, it hasn't even been a week. no way it could be that....could it? Grr, first time in my life that I wish I had my period. Hope it comes soon.

-Just random rambling, pay me no mind...

Fallon

Long time no update.....
Mood:  lucky
Wow, its been forever since I last updated this, and I have loads to tell! I'll try to stay in order :)

One of the dress rehearsals was Crystal's Sweet Sixteen, and since she wasn't going to be having a party or anything, all of us teens/tweens put together an awesome surprise. Lets just say she was thrilled.

The show went okay....I messed up with the props evernight tho. The first night, I didn't want to knock the chair over, and I did. Everyone told me it went well the way the chair fell, so the second night I tried to make sure it fell, and it wouldn't fall, and the third night, I had no suitcase....so yea... besides all of that, it was really kool!

School started on the 8th of August, and its okay. What can I say about school? I have kool teachers, but they can get annoying (tho they could say the same about me)

I went on my first date, and had my first kiss, and now have my first boyfriend, and all of that in one night! Matt is just completely and totally awesome, and I'm so glad we are going out. I get to meet his mom tomorrow night, and I hope it goes well.....I'm kinda nervous, I really don't want to screw this up, its the best thing that ever happened to me. I am almost always smiling, and we talk so much. from 4-7 hours at a time online. So yea, very very nervous.

I got into one of the fall plays at school! I play the mother in Barefoot in the Park....I still have to fully read the script, so I can't tell you how my character is, but I'm running into the same problems as "Oliver!". In a cast of five, I was the only one who showed up for rehearsal. A little annoyed, because the script is over one hundred pages long, and the play is in october, so we have little over a month.

All in All, I think I've had a pretty good time! I have to head to GS, but I'll try to remember to update more often.

Much Love xoxoxo
-Fallon

Gone
Mood:  lazy
Sry I've been gone for so long, been busy. I just loaded my website! www.fcla16.tripod.com!

The church vareity show is going good, the show is the last weekend in july.

it's 1 AM, so can't say much more.

Update on Life
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Gypsy soundtrack
Hey everyone, just a bit stressed out. I am trying to memorize about 4-6 poems for Friday Nights Poetry competition. I am getting a costume together for the drama banquet, (we are going in a Disney Theme, and I'm going to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast) I totally don't think my crush likes me :(. That kinda hurts too. I have lots and lots to do, so I must go. Much Love to all

Lyn

HmMmmMmMmMmMmMm
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: something on TLC
Hey all! sry it took so long for me to update.
I'm currently working on aa project about Autism. It's going to be pretty cool. I am going crazy! I'm totally crushing on someone at my church and I never see him, and I am totally going out of my mind. It stinks being a teenager. I wish I know if he liked me. So yea, just being crazier then usual.

Not much more to say,

Much Love
Lyn

Not sure of a Title
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Hey all, I just got back from GS (girl Scouts) and am waiting for some pics for My Space, so I thought I'd update this. I'm doing better then I have in awhile, but I don't have much to say, LOL. Um, I did a knock out (military march contset sort of thing) with a friend in JROTC in another school, and I totally beat him! (though I know he'd deny it) anyway, yea thats about it, I'll ttyl.

TTFN

Fallon