Eh.....
Mood:  don't ask
Yea, Im getting so bad flshbacks, so I don't feel the best, tho I might have found the trigger, so thats good. I think I stress my BF out, so maybe I should lay off for a while, let things calm down. I complain A LOT, and its not fair to him, because I know he worries about me, and I don't want him to have to, I really feel bad, even though he doesn't see why I do. Guess its just a habit. I finally kicked my sister today, and now I feel like the biggest fink in the world. I hated it when my dad hurt me growing up, and now I'm hurting Allison. Now I'm scared of my dad, and I don't want Alli to be scared of me....my mind has been running a mile a minute, I don't even know whats wrong with me anymore, I am so stressed out, its not even funny. I need to try to not feel helpless, since that might triggers the flashbacks, and I hate them. Plus my folks would yell at me, and yea, that'd add onto the stress factor....do you ever feel so stressed, that your stomach hurts and you head spins? Well, times that pain by ten, and add in chest pains, and you'd know how I feel right now. I try to get myself to talk about it, but I can't, mainly because so much stuff is going wrong in my head, that I can't even figure out whats wrong.

I need to figure it out though, or I'll be in flashback city....and thats the last thing I want.

Feel like I'm going to throw up, so I better go now....

Sorry for being such a nusince

Much Love
Lyn